Mental Preparation

Starting next week is when I begin my journey. I will be documenting it on this blog as a way for me to remember where I have come from and why I don't want to go back there. I don't care if anyone follows this blog, but if they do I hope it inspires them to lose weight as well.

My current situation sucks. I am fat. there is no other description for it. You can call it obese, or chunky. You can even get politically correct and call me overweight. I can't walk up one flight of stairs and hold a conversation. When walking up a hill I go into "silent mode." I don't feel like I can play with my son as much as I want to. I also feel like I miss out on fun activities because I am either too out of shape or too embarrassed.

Recently, I was asked to join a softball team. I thought it would be a lot of fun, especially since I was an active baseball player in high school and I love playing the game. I went out to practice with them one time. I was only there for 45 minutes or so, but I felt like I couldn't keep up. I was out of breath from just swinging a bat. At that moment, I thought what has my life become? What am I doing?

I never feel well anymore. I always feel blah. I remember the days when I used to just feel good. That's not how it is anymore. This may be attributed to aging, but most of it I feel is weight related.

Right now, on this day I plan on making a promise. I promise to be a better person/dad/husband/friend. Breckin, I promise you that I will work hard to be a better father, companion, and play buddy. Ella, I promise you that I will be there for you and will be active when you start going non-stop. Holly, I promise that I will do all that I can to be around for you and the kids forever. Mom, I promise that I will work hard to prevent an early death that can cause so much pain. I promise to overall reset my health. Mentally and physically. Most of all, I promise to start loving myself again.